IT'S GRAMMY WEEK

See below for a Photo Plot of "How the Camel Got Its Hump"

I am ultimately excited for this week for a couple of reasons - I will be attending the Grammy's and hoping the Chorale can take back some hardware, but mainly for the chance at an actual vacation!  I have had to travel quite often in the past, but it is always stressful and "business" related.  This time, I will be able to enjoy life!  Thank you to everyone who have helped us out so we can attend and dress like belong; we are so thankful for you!

I will be providing a lot of updates (hopefully) via facebook mostly through pictures.  If you are interested in following, my profile is facebook.com/pinkall

Of the several events planned for the weekend, I will be attending a rooftop cocktail at sunset in downtown LA on Saturday with a record company.  Then on Sunday, I will attend the GRAMMY Pre-telecast Awards Ceremony and Reception, the Red Carpet, the Primetime GRAMMY Awards Ceremony, and Wolfgang Puck's GRAMMY Celebration Afterparty.  You can follow all of these events live at http://www.grammy.com/live this Sunday starting at Noon O'clock Pacific Time.

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As for other news this week, our neighbors had a kitchen fire, burning-up their microwave oven, and filling our place with the most vile and bitter smoke.  Unfortunately, this directly led to my sinuses becoming unbearably packed with gunk.  I normally would not mind, but I had a voice competition the following day.  I nearly cancelled, but I have never cancelled in the past and I didn't want to break that record even though I had a tough, up-hill battle.  So what were my strategies to overcome my smoke damaged voice?

1. I warmed up two pots of hot water with my coffee maker and drank it all - this is a trick I learned after traveling often and having to sing on the same day as your flight arrives.  Many times plane flights can dry out your vocal chords due to the environment in the plane cabin, so lots of warm water is a great remedy for many voice ailments.

2. Don't over-practice.  It's tough to keep yourself from warming-up if you're in bad voice, but if your voice is swollen, using it too forcefully can cause more friction and damage your voice even further.  Warm-up soft and very slow, while drinking all that warm water!

3. Blow your nose! This goes for everyone who sniffles at all.  If you are a singer and sniff up your snot every time it drains, you are just packing gunk in your sinuses where you need air to vibrate when you sing, plus you can inflame your throat if you swallow and cough up all that mucous.  Sniffling may be an habitual problem for some people, but blowing your nose will help you breathe easier, give you an easier and more resonant production of sound, and make it more enjoyable to sing.

As for the result of the competition, well, I was pleased that I was physically and vocally able to complete the audition.  It went better than I expected - I didn't win, but I tried as best as I could given the circumstances.

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And now for your amusement, here is a Photo Plot from the opera for children that I was in "How the Camel Got Its Hump" by Leah Pulatie

The lovely "orchestra" begins the Overture

Prologue - Royce wants us to act out his favorite story, "How the Camel Got Its Hump"

The Ox, Horse, and Dog have to work hard at the beginning of the world and the Camel isn't helping!

The Animals plead with the Camel to help out

"It isn't fair, Camel, that you aren't helping us out and we're doing all the work"

The Horse has an idea - to ask the Camel nicely

The Horse pleads with the Camel to help - but the Camel ignores everyone saying only, "Humph"

The Horse has an idea - to go to the Man for help

The Animals bring a formal complaint to the Man about the Camel

The Animals plead with the Man to help

The Animals make a formal complaint to the Man that it isn't fair for the Camel to be lazy

The Animals pout because the Man won't bother helping

The Camel, who only says "Humph," protests any work - he even finds going on strike to be too much work!! - but he sure feels lonely and would like some friends

The Ox hears a strange sound...it might be a genie!

The Animals summon the genie

The Animals summon the magical Djinn of the desert to help

The Animals summon the magical Djinn

The Djinn, a genie, has appeared!!

The Djinn performs magic tricks

The Animals plead their case to the Djinn

The Djinn will help out the Animals!!!

The Animals find and capture the Camel in the audience

The Camel is captured by the Animals and the Djinn

The Djinn of the Desert helps the Animals and gives the Camel a giant hump

The Camel gets his hump!

Ox teaches Camel how to work

The Camel decides to help out his new friends with his new hump

Finale     

Lesson - You'll get the Cameelious Hump if you don't lend a hand!

Finale

Curtain Call    

Excitement!

Life sure has its means of pushing you along.  I remember growing up, my dad asking me "what's wrong," and in the likely case of responding "I'm bored," he would say, "well, do something."  Now to be fair, my brother complained about being bored more often than I did, but I would just sit around depressed wondering why I didn't have something to look forward to.  One thing always leads to another, and we somehow ended up in time-out for fighting.  Boredom = Trouble.  Even today, when I get bored, I immediately find something to do.  This unfortunate compulsion has led to many months of performances, the stressful completion of my doctoral exams, and several seasons of Mad Men on Netflix.

The latter end of 2012 was definitely the most stressful and least boring of my life, and now after a long month off, I am back to furiously not being bored.  Last week, as you may recall, I performed in a children's opera, "How the Camel Got Its Hump".  It was a terrifically cute production, and most importantly the kids loved it!  Essentially, we told the Rudyard Kipling story in a 35 minute opera, where we opened a giant toy box and played "Make Believe."

I'm a sad Horse because the Camel won't help the other animals with their daily chores

Now that it is finished, my days are becoming increasingly involved in accomplishing other goals.  I have been furiously applying for jobs at colleges and universities all over the place.  I am preparing for a recital and several major Bach-related solo performances.  And yesterday, I was asked by the Kansas City Symphony to perform on six educational concerts, similar to what I did last year, starting in April!  I always love a chance to perform with the Symphony and in Helzberg Hall.  Amazingly, I will perform at Helzberg Hall 10 times in a span of only 4 weeks!

I also was invited back to perform and record with the Simon Carrington Chamber Singers in June.  It was an amazing experience last year, our next album will be released in the Summer, and I cannot wait to perform again with some of the area's best singers and with one of the world's great minds for choral music!

If that wasn't exciting enough, I and several other Kansas City Chorale members had a Skype session with our managing agent about the Grammy's next week (I can't believe it's already so close!).  It is an interesting and exciting experience as we received our red carpet schedules, press releases, a list of talking points for interviews, and the list goes on.  It will certainly be unforgettable and I will have LOTS of updates on my facebook page - www.facebook.com/pinkall - as well as on this blog.

BUT that isn't even the most exciting and certainly not the most unexpected news lately - the most unexpected news being that I stepped ankle deep, both feet, socks, and shoes, in wet cement.  The most exciting news is that I had an interview this morning with the Organizing Committee for the Olympic Games via Skype from Moscow!  I applied in August for a leadership or Director position within the area of Ceremony Music and Protocol for the next Olympics in Sochi, Russia. They are the Winter Olympics of course - but it is a somewhat unknown location to people on this side of the pond.  Sochi is on the coast of the Black Sea and even in winter it is warm and green with palm trees and all.  Many of the outdoor events will take place on the slopes of the adjacent mountain ranges while the indoor events and ceremonies will be held in the beautiful coastal resort city.

The interviewer was efficient and asked questions from "Why do you want to be a part of the Olympic Games?" to "Describe a time where you went beyond what was asked to complete a task."  The group interviewing me was in Moscow, which meant that I was awake VERY early this morning to catch them during work hours.  I was very happy and excited to take part, so some of my answers were...well, I could have given infinitely long answers on some topics.  They wanted to know my organizational habits, accomplishments, skills, thought processes, and even what makes me angry.  They even paused to find some quite specific supplemental questions to ask including, "Have you ever performed in front of large masses of people?", "Are you afraid of large masses of people?", "Are you afraid of heights?", and "Have you been a part of a large scale production or media event?"  I have had many great experiences in the recent past and have a working knowledge of what they are needing.  Hopefully, they will want me on board.  I thought the interview went really well, I thought they were very interested in my responses, and I'm very excited and anxious to hear back from them.

With so much excitement and so many things to look forward to, I shouldn't get into any trouble anytime soon!

The Top 10 of P.D.Q. Bach

Happy New Year to the opera world!  I apologize for my absence as I have been waist deep in applications for college positions.  The paperwork is ridiculous in some cases, but I am a fierce and dedicated worker - hopefully I will have some exciting details to announce in the future!

In other news, exciting football games have engulfed my life recently, along with uniquely horrible national anthem performances.  All the while, I am about to overdose on J.S. Bach.  I originally intended to perform a lecture recital on a Bach cantata, but I have since decided to throw in some Vaughan Williams into a semester consumed with preparing Bach's B Minor Mass, where I will be the tenor soloist at a performance at the Kauffman Center in Kansas City on my birthday - April 28, and a couple weeks prior to that I will act as the Evangelist in Bach's St. John Passion.

But with that said, and since it is still my vacation for a couple more weeks, I would like to write about another famous Bach other than J.S. and C.P.E. Bach or any of the J.C.'s - but rather, the great P.D.Q. Bach.

P.D.Q. Bach is known as one of the most prolific plagiarists in music history. Here's a look at the genius of P.D.Q. Bach with these top ten compositions.  I have to say, moments of this will be funny to music nerds and not very funny if you don't know much about classical music - but for the music freaks and geeks out there, here you go:

10. Tocatta et Fuga Obnoxia

9. "The Farmer on the Dole" from Four Folksong Upsettings

8. Sonata for 4 Hand Viola

7. Bach Portrait

6. 1712 Overture

 5. "Eine Kleine Nichtmusik" (with theme subtitles!)

 4. The Seasonings an Oratorio

3. The Abduction of Figaro - click here for the full opera

2. "Erotica" Variations, for banned instruments and piano

• Theme: Windbreaker
• Variation I: Balloons
• Variation II: Slide Whistle
• Variation III: Slide Windbreaker
• Variation IV: Lasso D'Amore 
• Variation V: Foghorn, Bell, Kazoo, Gargle

 1. New Horizons in Music Appreciation (although not a composition of P.D.Q. Bach, this was his attempt to make classical music exciting)

"I Saw Three Sheeps", "Hoppy Chreesmahs/Wah ees Ovah" and other Operatic Christmas Favorites

Hanukkah is over, Christmas is on the horizon, and I am searching for a jobs.  The overbearing Goliath called life grows ever larger as it falls, appendages spread, toward a colossal belly flop over me, floating in a pool of latent and static dreams awaiting life's tidal wave onto the burning concrete deck of the job market.  Hmm, maybe I got caught up in that analogy...nevertheless, I have some great excitement ahead before I feel the full brunt of life.

Tonight, I am doing a run-through of the libretto for the premiere of a children's opera, "How the Camel Got Its Hump", from the story by Rudyard Kipling.  I will certainly have more information on this soon, but it will be the cutest show ever.

If you didn't hear already, I am going to the Grammy's in February as one of the ensembles that I sing with, The Kansas City Chorale, was nominated for multiple Grammy's!  And again, I ask you all who read this blog, to consider donating by clicking the link on the black bar above, to help me fund my trip to LA.  The Chorale had several concerts last week and we were followed by photographers and television cameras.  Actually, the attention is a little awkward, as you may imagine.  Most people when they realize that photographers are taking pictures of them, they make a conscious effort to look normal while continuing in awkward conversation - a little like being a supernumerary on stage.  However, I just can't be the normal, lazy human that I usually am.  So, with photographers always around us on the performance day, I couldn't text, check Facebook, hum through some music, talk to others, stare out a window, or sleep in a chapel pew without a photographer there.  With cameras around, it's hard not to become paranoid.

Also last week, I had the privilege to sing carols at a very fancy Christmas Party at the River Club in Downtown Kansas City.  Four operatic singers, including myself, stood outside as the limousines pulled up and the aristocracy flooded out amid what I assume are incredibly important Real Housewife arguments over grudges and insults about their personal chefs or tabloid articles.  We also sang as the guests were escorted to their seats for dinner.  There were about 50-70 guests and the decorations were all of the late 19th Century Gilded Age - making caroling in tuxedos a perfect match for the occasion.

Sunday, I put in a 12 hour marathon singing in 3 church services, 4 rehearsals, and 2 concerts in the evening at Village Presbyterian Church for their annual Christmas spectacular - Tidings of Joy!  Village Presbyterian Church is one of the world's largest Presbyterian congregations; thousands attended and the concert had 150 singers, orchestra, and LOTS of Christmas music.  It was highly emotional however due to the shootings in Connecticut.  A music teacher friend of mine lives only 5 miles from that elementary school in Connecticut and like most of you, my mind has been caught up in all the media.  I inadvertently caused a Facebook war due to my wish of America becoming more like Western Europe and banning assault weapons, which have no practical use other than to kill many things.  As an American, I am 100 times more likely to be murdered by a gun than someone in the UK, and 150 times more likely than someone in Japan (according to the most recent United Nations statistics).  On top of that, it is probably easier to purchase an assault weapon than to get proper mental health help as was detailed on NBC Nightly News.  With that said, I was crushed to hear of the death of so many little kids - I hope America can make a serious effort to become a more civilized society in the wake of this carnage.  At our services this weekend, the most touching moment wasn't the singing of Silent Night, which always causes lots of tears, but of the last verse of Away in a Manger.

Outside of my normal Christmas craziness, I want to leave you with some of my favorite operatic Christmas youtube hits/blunders.

Christmas Gifts for Opera Singers - Part 2

If you missed numbers 10-6 from last week, CLICK HERE

5. PIANO THINGS - As a musician, it is primarily assumed that I am best at what I study the most.  For most of my time in music, my studies have been centered around operatic singing, choirs, and conducting.  Still, it is rare to have three emphases, but what has always bothered me the most is that practically everyone outside of my little music sphere attributes great musicianship to "if you can play the piano or not."  Any family holiday, church choir rehearsal, or voice lesson that has required me to play the piano has typically gone well, but certainly not as well as a Yanni CD from 1994 - the pinnacle of piano virtuosity for the classical crossover-music zombie hoards.

So why get piano gifts for singers?  ANSWER: Learning by rote with a piano is the junk food of opera singers (excluding actual junk food of course).  We should be able to learn our notes with solfege and proper ear training tactics, but many opera singers forego using their brain and just do what they do best - sing loud and pretty to a condensed piano score for an incredibly talented pianist to sweat through, many times, over and over.

Piano Tie that actually plays! - CLICK TO PURCHASE

Giant Piano Mat - CLICK TO PURCHASE

4. Soap Opera Music Boxes - For those who accidentally stumble onto this site thinking it is a fan site for soap operas, you must be incredibly frightened with all the music - unlike the deathly boring silence filling the dead space within soap operas.  But to make up for their lack of a soundtrack and poor acting skills comparable to that of actual opera singers, soap operas have had great theme tunes.  With the help of these music boxes, now you can fall asleep to the same classic themes of your favorite soap operas - what I suppose you do while you "watch" these shows anyway.

Soap Opera Music Boxes - CLICK TO PURCHASE

3. MOZART - This could also be a great Halloween scare for many opera singers, but what better way to celebrate the passion of opera at Christmas than to give its greatest and arguably most annoying composer, W.A. Mozart.  Not only should an opera singer have a Mozart action figure, but they should have Little Mozart's Tini Orchestra.  Why, this tiny orchestra comes with ear plugs to give to any bystander (and it's what many opera singers need after too many Mozart productions - there's something torturous about hours of predictable, poorly acted recitative)  Now imagine how annoying little Mozart would have been if he had Little Mozart's Tiny Orchestra to compose for: miniature slide whistle, harmonica, kazoo, recorder, pan pipes, maracas, and a tambourine!  Die Zauberkazoo? Concerto for Miniature Tambourine?  Or perhaps a sexy maraca accompaniment to Giovanni's canzonetta, "Deh, vieni, alla finestra?"

Mozart Action Figure - CLICK TO PURCHASE

Little Mozart's Tini Orchestra - CLICK TO PURCHASE

2. SUGGESTIONS TO START A NEW CAREER - There's nothing easy about suggesting to an opera singer that they should graze a different pasture, especially sopranos. Therefore, ease them into a new profession, a new instrument perhaps.  Try these out for size:

1. Become a Music Box maker
2. Play the Musical Ruler that you place at the edge of a table, bend it down like a spring diving board and release it to buzz a certain pitch as shown on the ruler 
3. Perfect the ever-useful Nose Flute; and it's obviously fashionable

Music Box Maker - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Musical Ruler - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Nose Flute - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

1. CREATIVE FRUSTRATION - Finally, every opera singer needs to feel important and pampered in order to sing well, show up on time, and learn their music correctly.  Obviously, this requires other musicians to overwhelmingly praise opera singers during the dress rehearsals, as the opera singers have been courageously learning their staging and fight scenes while the pit orchestra lives lavishly under union requirements encouraging unresolved dominant seventh chords if it cuts into their break time!  That's right all you down there in the pit, opera singers sweat and that makes us cranky and deserving of your homage payments.  However, for most opera singers, we are treated "professionally" so we need to release this frustration somehow.  Here are two ideas:

1. Curled up balls of a composers' souls
2. Art-song-pasted lampshades covering useless, non-word-producing instruments incapable of adequately conveying affection and love.

Upcycled Music Score Ornaments - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Clarinet Lamp - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Flute Lamp - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Trumpet Lamp - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Christmas Gifts for Opera Singers - Part 1

(CLICK ANY OF THE PICTURES FOR MORE PRODUCT INFO)

10. The Opera Cooks - The opera singer can be quite lazy when they're not working.  Of course the many nights and early mornings belting away, while secretly cussing an over-zealous opera director that is trying to make a believable fight scene between a 280 pound, 6'6" baritone lead and a 5'3" 130 pound leggiero tenor, can just been exhausting.  Understandably, when an opera singer wakes up after noon the next day, they are completely starving.  This gift is a must for any opera singer that you haven't seen in several months because they work when you work and work when you sleep - and I bet they have a fierce appetite.  This cookbook is filled with interviews and recipes from the greatest singers on the planet.

9. La Traviata Children's Book - Goodnight room. Goodnight moon. Goodnight woman who will die of tuberculosis soon.  Goodnight light and red shoes.  Goodnight mistresses.  Goodnight affairs.  Goodnight duel that, unfortunate to the audience, we never see because it occurs between acts two and three, NOT FAIR!  Goodnight lies. Goodnight Italian-speaking, sex-crazed, misogynistic French guys.  Goodnight brush. Goodnight mush. Goodnight opera people putting the incorrect emphasis on the word "Brindisi" (it's BREEN-dee-zee) and call me pretentious for pointing out your poor Italian, SHUSH!  -- Seriously, there is no better way to teach your children about lust, gambling, jealousy, cheating, death, and what a "pure" woman is than with a children's book of Verdi's opera La Traviata.

 

8. Lego Sydney Opera House - Lego states "It will look beautiful displayed on a shelf or counter".  Perhaps if you actually have a shelf or counter that this would look good on, you should consider purchasing a new shelf or counter.  Nonetheless, I really want a fat Pavarotti Lego man and Aussie, Dame Joan Sutherland Lego woman that has a face at least the half the size of her body, both in their La Fille attire to go along with this set.

7. Tenor/Baritone Scented Candle - What better way to bring the smell of the opera home with you than with these tenor and baritone scented candles.  Curiously, the Met Shop does not sell Mezzo or Soprano candles.  I assume these would sensuously smell of cheese, melting makeup, and leather - infused with slight sparkles of fear and vomit (tenor) and shameful dabs of cigarette smoke and Jack Daniel's Single Barrel Select Whisky (baritone).

6. Travel Luggage Scale - This is actually a useful gift for opera singers.  Many people may not understand the difficulties of traveling as an opera singer, but we have to carry lots of clothes (and lots of shoes if you're a Soprano or Mezzo), plus all the extra little things, hair equipment, makeup entourage, emergency medicine, unnecessary amounts of  extra music, computer, and large jackets that are needed down the icy chasm of New York's Broadway during audition week in December but are too cumbersome to wear on a Delta flight because they cook you like a toaster strudel.  This gadget will save some of us a small fortune!

Part 2 coming next week!

CLICK HERE FOR MY LIST FROM 2011