Christmas Gifts for Opera Singers - Part 2

If you missed numbers 10-6 from last week, CLICK HERE

5. PIANO THINGS - As a musician, it is primarily assumed that I am best at what I study the most.  For most of my time in music, my studies have been centered around operatic singing, choirs, and conducting.  Still, it is rare to have three emphases, but what has always bothered me the most is that practically everyone outside of my little music sphere attributes great musicianship to "if you can play the piano or not."  Any family holiday, church choir rehearsal, or voice lesson that has required me to play the piano has typically gone well, but certainly not as well as a Yanni CD from 1994 - the pinnacle of piano virtuosity for the classical crossover-music zombie hoards.

So why get piano gifts for singers?  ANSWER: Learning by rote with a piano is the junk food of opera singers (excluding actual junk food of course).  We should be able to learn our notes with solfege and proper ear training tactics, but many opera singers forego using their brain and just do what they do best - sing loud and pretty to a condensed piano score for an incredibly talented pianist to sweat through, many times, over and over.

Piano Tie that actually plays! - CLICK TO PURCHASE

Giant Piano Mat - CLICK TO PURCHASE

4. Soap Opera Music Boxes - For those who accidentally stumble onto this site thinking it is a fan site for soap operas, you must be incredibly frightened with all the music - unlike the deathly boring silence filling the dead space within soap operas.  But to make up for their lack of a soundtrack and poor acting skills comparable to that of actual opera singers, soap operas have had great theme tunes.  With the help of these music boxes, now you can fall asleep to the same classic themes of your favorite soap operas - what I suppose you do while you "watch" these shows anyway.

Soap Opera Music Boxes - CLICK TO PURCHASE

3. MOZART - This could also be a great Halloween scare for many opera singers, but what better way to celebrate the passion of opera at Christmas than to give its greatest and arguably most annoying composer, W.A. Mozart.  Not only should an opera singer have a Mozart action figure, but they should have Little Mozart's Tini Orchestra.  Why, this tiny orchestra comes with ear plugs to give to any bystander (and it's what many opera singers need after too many Mozart productions - there's something torturous about hours of predictable, poorly acted recitative)  Now imagine how annoying little Mozart would have been if he had Little Mozart's Tiny Orchestra to compose for: miniature slide whistle, harmonica, kazoo, recorder, pan pipes, maracas, and a tambourine!  Die Zauberkazoo? Concerto for Miniature Tambourine?  Or perhaps a sexy maraca accompaniment to Giovanni's canzonetta, "Deh, vieni, alla finestra?"

Mozart Action Figure - CLICK TO PURCHASE

Little Mozart's Tini Orchestra - CLICK TO PURCHASE

2. SUGGESTIONS TO START A NEW CAREER - There's nothing easy about suggesting to an opera singer that they should graze a different pasture, especially sopranos. Therefore, ease them into a new profession, a new instrument perhaps.  Try these out for size:

1. Become a Music Box maker
2. Play the Musical Ruler that you place at the edge of a table, bend it down like a spring diving board and release it to buzz a certain pitch as shown on the ruler 
3. Perfect the ever-useful Nose Flute; and it's obviously fashionable

Music Box Maker - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Musical Ruler - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Nose Flute - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

1. CREATIVE FRUSTRATION - Finally, every opera singer needs to feel important and pampered in order to sing well, show up on time, and learn their music correctly.  Obviously, this requires other musicians to overwhelmingly praise opera singers during the dress rehearsals, as the opera singers have been courageously learning their staging and fight scenes while the pit orchestra lives lavishly under union requirements encouraging unresolved dominant seventh chords if it cuts into their break time!  That's right all you down there in the pit, opera singers sweat and that makes us cranky and deserving of your homage payments.  However, for most opera singers, we are treated "professionally" so we need to release this frustration somehow.  Here are two ideas:

1. Curled up balls of a composers' souls
2. Art-song-pasted lampshades covering useless, non-word-producing instruments incapable of adequately conveying affection and love.

Upcycled Music Score Ornaments - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Clarinet Lamp - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Flute Lamp - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Trumpet Lamp - CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

Life On the Estate & Rehearsals

I have been in rehearsals all day - every day this week at Yale's Norfolk Chamber Music Festival.  Check out my last blog entry if you would like to know exactly why I am here, but today I will show you what exactly I have been up to.

The estate of Ellen Battell Stoeckel

Every morning, I wake up early and from my cottage on the estate of Ellen Battell Stoeckel. I walk on a little path, across a small brook, past the barn (where the instrumentalists practice - in their natural environment of course - it's actually a world class studio, not a barn, but they call everything by simple names here), and up a large hill to the Battell house where the cook has made breakfast for everyone on the estate.  It's a full meal and unfortunately, after several days, the food has caused me considerable pain if you consider the stress on my bowels and bladder from the capacious volume of food and water I've been inhaling.  We are in rehearsals for most of the day - which means I must keep my energy and keep hydrated - my body hates me for it!

The estate of Ellen Battell Stoeckel

Chairs on the lawn at the estate of Ellen Battell Stoeckel

Our first rehearsals are in an old room with old chairs and old instruments.  We are not allowed to put any drinks on the 1864 Steinway, but it is in great working shape!  I tested it out, not knowing my next chance to play such an old instrument - but in rehearsals, we use an ultra-modern and elaborately ornamented 1895 Steinway instead.

I brought my backpack full of music with me and set up my "station" by placing my music on the stand, setting it to the right height, making sure my water bottle is out and my pencil works, and I take off my shoes and put them in the back of the room - so I can be comfortable.  The chairs are very old and very uncomfortable, so I constantly have to stretch.

The singers are set in an arch and generally, we were expected to have our music proficiently learned before we arrived.  Our rehearsals are not meant to learn notes, like most amateur music rehearsals are around the world; instead we try to create the correct sound, make pitches perfectly in tune and in the correct style of the piece, perfect our diction and language.  It's difficult to describe the level of perfection that is required unless you sit-in on the rehearsal, and I suppose it would be a little funny to imagine a "tone deaf" person observing because so much of our rehearsals center around pitch and timbre (the quality of the sound) - I would assume most wouldn't be able to tell the difference if you didn't know what to listen for, but there really is much to work on.  

The music we are performing are in many different styles - some for soloists, some for small ensemble, and some strict choral settings.  Some pieces are very old: "Peccantem me quotidie" by Cristobal de Morales (early 16th century), "Venite populi" by Mozart (late 18th century), and "Lieto godea" by Gabrieli (mid 16th century).  Some of the music is very new or brand new as well.  One piece is called Song for Billie Holiday by William Averitt.  It was written in 2009 and the words are by Langston Hughes.  It is a solo accompanied by a few voices and four-hand piano.  It is incredibly moving, bringing one conductor to tears.  I am performing a piece in Hebrew (pretty rare for me) called Uri Tsafon by J.C. Rommereim from 2002 with voices, string quartet, and piano - the text is a sultry/erotic portion of the Song of Songs!  One of my other favorite pieces is a set of Aesop's Fables which includes spoken and sung text - it's witty and brilliant - and I'm singing a version of the psalm text "Praise Ye the Lord" accompanied by a solo trombone which is quite interesting and exciting.

We're giving the World Premiere of a piece by Loren Loiacono.  I've been able to talk to the composer about it a lot over the last few days and I really love it.  It is called "The Awakening" written for soloists and a chamber group of strings, percussion/xylophone, and bass clarinet.  It is completely beautiful, spooky, and depressive!  The lyrics are from the end of the Kate Chopin novel of the same name, where a woman liberates herself from her inner turmoil and walks into the ocean and swims until her death.  The music alternates between a woman and the narrator and as her ambiguous death approaches, the music also ambiguously blends the narrator and woman.  Here's the text:

"How strange and awful to stand naked under sky.  How strange like some newborn creature opening its eyes in a familiar world that it had never known. How strange and awful. How delicious! The foamy wavelets curled up to my white feet and coiled like serpents about my ankles.  The water was chill, but I walked on.  The water was deep, but she lifted her white body and reached out with a long sweeping stroke.  And the touch of the sea is sensuous, enfolding the body in its soft, close, embrace.  She went on and on.  I remembered the night I swam far out and recalled the terror that seized me at the fear of being unable to regain the shore.  Her arms and legs were growing very tired.  I remember the bluegrass meadow, that I had traversed as a little child, thinking it endless.  No beginning, no end.  My husband, the children, they were a part of my life, but they needn't have thought that they could possess me body and soul.  Goodbye, because I love you. He did not know, he did not understand, he'd never understand.  She heard her father's voice and her sister Margaret's.  She heard the barking of an old dog chained to the sycamore tree.  The spurs of the cavalry officer clanged as he walked across the porch.  There was the hum of bees and the musky odor of pinks filled the air."

I think the piece is brilliant - and a brilliant view of the mind as she approaches her death.  Hopefully the recording will be available soon hereafter.

My next update will be about our performance - it is the final performance of the entire festival, and just like the last performance at Woodstock, I hope we can be the Jimi Hendrix of the Norfolk Festival - memorable, and however unlikely, if our recording could also be included in a fireworks show on the Fourth of July, that would be great as well!

The estate of Ellen Battell Stoeckel

Basilio - Self Portraits with Cell Phone

Le Nozze di Figaro
(The Marriage of Figaro)
Comedy by W.A. Mozart

Conservatory of Music and Dance
University of Missouri - Kansas City
White Recital Hall
Thursday, November 17 - Sunday, November 20
CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS

(I'm Basilio by the way - I am a music teacher who loves to snoop in on other people's business, mess with their lives for my own entertainment, and am struggling to weasel my way into the upper class...oh, and I'm a total fop - how ridiculous can it get?)

 

A Lazy Person's Guide to Opera: Don Giovanni - Part 4

It's opening night.  You're surrounded by over-perfumed women, their male dates following along as some kind of prized door-opener.  "Something's wrong here," you think to yourself.  "Men acting chivalrous, women aloof.  What madness has brought indignation and petty pompousness over us?"  Don't worry my friend; they are not speaking in tongues nor is this a renaissance fair.  You are at an opera.


Perhaps some aristocrats go a little too far with the snobbery, but more likely than not, you are standing too close to the wine bar.  If you turn around, you will see the other 1500 people who are attending the opera tonight in their jeans, with their iphones, sneaking in a boxes of Raisinettes and Junior Mints.  But, there is still something separating you from experiencing the opera as these people will.  Of course you know to try not to read the supertitles the whole time, and you will remember that operas are NOT movies, and you will be a snob, but how will you socialize with these people?

Tip #4:  Speak the Best Opera BS - Lingo of the Opera Elite


So here are several situations, and I will try to help you through them.  After all, it takes a lot of work to be a lazy opera-goer, so let's go through the basics.

First of all, you must know how to correctly pronounce the opera that you are seeing.  In this case, it is Don Giovanni.  You won't fool anyone if you pronounce it (dahn jee-oh-VAH-nee).  Do not pronounce the first "i" in Giovanni.  That "i" makes the "g" soft like "j" in English.  You should pronounce the opera (dohn joh-VAH-nee).  And if you want to be really proper, put a little space between the "VAH" and "nee".  Here's an example of an Italian person saying it.

Ok, you are about to go to your seat when the star of the show (possibly your friend?) sees you.  There's a crowd queuing to have their tickets torn so they can sit down.  How can you impress them? Say "Toi, toi, toi" to the opera star (sounds like "toy, toy, toy").  All of the opera geeks around will instantly know that you are a true opera expert. But what does it mean? Well, it is like saying "Break a leg!".  There are several ideas about how it originated, but it is traditionally seen as a way to imitate an ancient Germanic superstitious ritual where someone grabs you and spits three times over your shoulder to scare away demons.  I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but "toi" sounds like the beginning of the German word for the devil - "Teufel".  Another thing you can say is "Merde" which is a French cuss word (the 'S' word) but they use it like "Break a leg".  It's really a bad thing, but it means a good thing.  Or, you can say "In bocca al lupo" (een BOH-kah ahl LOO-poh), which means "in the mouth of the wolf" in Italian.  The opera singer would respond with "crepi il lupo" or "may the wolf die".  Any of these will definitely impress the opera elite.

So, the opera begins and you want to sound intelligent to the person next to you.  After all, you are spending a few hours together, and hopefully neither of you ate onions for dinner.  You probably shouldn't talk too much, but let's say a soprano has just screamed a high note for too long and is just showing off.  You are upset, because they're making the opera even longer than it has to be.  You lean over to your neighbor and say "What a Diva" (DEE-vah) - this literally means "goddess" and many times used negatively. But, if it's the tenor or any other guy you should call him a "Divo" (DEE-voh).

If  you loved a particular Aria (Ah-ree-uh), or solo, you should applaud first by clapping.  The next level of appreciation higher is yelling "Bravo" (BRAH-voh), and if you want to sound Italian, flip the "r".  Most people don't get this right, but you should only yell "bravo" for men.  If you are cheering a woman, yell Brava (BRAH-vah), a group of female singers "Brave" (BRAH-vay), or if you are cheering either a group of men or group of men and women yell "Bravi" (BRAH-vee).  If you want to give even more applause, throw some flowers on stage at the curtain call.  But that means that you have to plan this beforehand, so it may not be very genuine unless you, for some reason, carry around flowers to throw at people you love all the time.

The orchestra is playing in the pit and that guy waving his arms under a spotlight is the Maestro (MAHY-stroh). The people on stage who don't sing in the chorus and are just there for looks are called Supernumeraries.  And don't forget from the first tip, that all of the little segments that are played by the harpsichord and where the singer is speak-singing, that is called recitative (reh-see-tuh-TEEV).  Other than that, make sure you know the main characters, and you've got yourself a pretty successful chance of being one of the best lazy opera-goers around.

I hope you all go out and enjoy an opera near you.  Tonight is opening night for UMKC's production of Don Giovanni.  I hope to see you all there - maybe you can plan to bring some throwing flowers.

A Lazy Person's Guide to Opera: Don Giovanni - Part 3

I have figured out that people who don't like opera seem to have one thing in common - they don't know anything about it.  So, I've provided a few tips on enjoying opera: (1) Try not to read the supertitles the whole time! and (2) Remember, operas are NOT movies.  With today's tip, I hope to give you the secret to why opera is fun.

Tip #3: Be a Snob! - Appreciating and Expecting the Impossible

The funnest part about opera is that it is so difficult.  Composers know this, singers know this, and now you do.  Composers wrote difficult music on purpose, singers spend months preparing and training for the most difficult moments, which are usually no more than a few seconds long.  For the audience, this is GOLD!  No matter what, it's worth getting excited about.  If the singer performs the hard parts well, it's really exciting.  And if they completely fall apart in a difficult section, we won't admit to cheering for this but it is equally exciting nonetheless.

So, why be a snob?  Well, you're not really a snob - you're a fan.  And to be a good fan, you have to know what to look and listen for.  It's just like a basketball fan in a lot of ways.  You have to know strategy and technique and you certainly have to appreciate the half court shots and big dunks.

The most important part is knowing the music.  In this case, (Don Giovanni) Mozart wrote in a very clean and perfect style that's called the Classical style, which was the style during the Classical period (1750-1830).  So, not all pretentious, artsy-fartsy music is Classical, just the music in this period.  There's nothing too confusing about Classical music, so you will have no problem understanding what can be problematic for singers: high notes, holding a note for a long time, singing a bunch of notes really fast, jumping from low notes to high notes, etc.

So, let's try it out with a few moments from Don Giovanni.

Ok, now listen for all of the high notes that she has to hold out.  Each of those takes a lot of air, and as soon as she gets a breath she has to sing another high note.  And even when you think it's over, Mozart keeps it going - how cruel.  But this is very exciting - she sings this immaculately!  What an athlete!  Trust me, her abs are getting a huge workout.

I love Bryn Terfel, but this is not one of his shining moments.  This aria keeps me on the edge of my seat to see if (1) he can get all the words out and (2) to see at what point he passes out from not breathing.  Mozart was really mean when he wrote this.  It's only a minute and a half, but he gives no chances to rest or breathe.  It gets really exciting about halfway through when it sounds like it could end soon, but instead Mozart puts in a held high note, then teases us again, and keeps giving him all kinds of leaps and a bunch of words.  So, he barely stayed alive, but I sure was excited to see if he would make it.



I have to sing this aria in our production, and I have to say it is one of the most difficult arias I've ever had to sing.  I get so nervous watching him between 1:00 and 2:00, he looks like he's about to give up or lay an egg on the high note, then he has to sing all of those pesky runs.  Once again, Mozart pushes the physical limits of the human body, but Stuart makes it through.  Not everyone makes it with this aria.

Now you should be able to go back and listen to these again and have your own opinions, but a live performance is like nothing else.  Sometimes the most glorious and virtuosic music is made and it is so exciting.  Other times, it keeps you on the edge of your seat wondering if the singer is going to make it - honestly, I prefer the former but sometimes the tough stuff is just as exciting.

I only have one more tip to give before you can be a great lazy opera-goer, and since tomorrow is opening night (even though I'm not in it), I'll try to help you through one of the most important parts of going to an opera with Tip #4: Speak the Best Opera BS - Lingo of the Opera Elite.

Sex and Death - A Lazy Person's Guide to Don Giovanni

It's performance week for Don Giovanni!  I am very excited to perform my first opera with the Conservatory this week.  Tickets are only $13, and it will be full of sex, violence, Italian words, really old music, Tim Burton-esque designs, supertitles, and hopefully a few laughs. So, if you are interested and are in the Kansas City area, please visit us.  Like I mentioned last week, the opera is double cast, so I will only be performing on Friday at 7:30 and Sunday at 2:30 at White Recital Hall on the campus of UMKC.

Because it is a special week for me, it will be a little different for my World of Opera blog.  Every day this week, I will have a special something about Don Giovanni.  So please check back every evening for a little entertainment and some insight into what this opera is all about.

Today's post:
SEX AND DEATH - A LAZY PERSON'S GUIDE TO DON GIOVANNI

Ok, so I understand.  You don't know Italian, you don't like to read, and you think three hours of classical music can get a little too boring.  I get it, you're lazy.  I'm here to help you out though.

Tip #1 - Try not to read the supertitles the whole time! (supertitles are like subtitles in movies, but appear above the stage in operas)

I know the opera is in Italian and you want to know what is happening.  Go ahead and glance up there a few times, but for goodness sake, if you find yourself reading the whole time, you are on a dark and torturous path towards the worst kinds of sleep - the kind often experienced in high school statistics class and ends with an embarrassing snore or drool.  Reading the libretto, line by line, slowly over three hours is something you can avoid simply by understanding the plot and knowing when to look up at the supertitles.  First, you have to understand how the opera is set up.  Mozart's music is REALLY old and it follows a pretty strict form.  There are recitatives and arias or choruses.  The recitatives (or recits) are where most of the action occurs.  You should probably read the recit supertitles so you know the little details in the story.  Recits kind of sound like spoken dialogue, and it has very little accompaniment.  Pretty much any time that there isn't an aria or chorus (any time that there isn't a lot of music going on) that's a good time to read the supertitles.  As for the arias and choruses - don't feel like you have to read the supertitles all the time.  Most of the time, not much is going to happen: a singer sings "I love you" in about twelve different ways, and the other person sings "It's not you, it's me" twelve different ways.  For these moments, go ahead and watch and enjoy the beautiful music, sword fights, sex scenes, descents into hell, etc.  That's the fun part of the opera.  Let's have some practice:

Come back tomorrow evening for tip #2: Remember, Operas are NOT Movies, which will include a two paragraph lazy person's synopsis of Don Giovanni.

As for the arts crisis in Kansas, the state Senate is voting on Wednesday at 2:30 to repeal the executive order by Governor Brownback, which eliminated public funding for the arts in Kansas.  Please visit the Kansas Arts Council website to see what you can do to help in a last minute push to help overturn the order.

Also, Happy Birthday to the late Albert Einstein - one of the greatest minds in human history, and whose birthday happens to fall on Pi day (3/14 - Pi is about 3.14).  And a small unrelated note to those wanting a recording of the Monteverdi Vespers, you should hear from me later this week.  I had more people interested than I expected - sorry for the delay.

Like every week, I have some schedule additions again.  I will be performing the Star Spangled Banner at the Kansas City Royals baseball game on April 18 at 7:10 PM versus the Cleveland Indians and I will be performing the Star Spangled Banner and O Canada for Sporting KC's soccer game on June 25 at 7:30 PM versus the Vancouver Whitecaps in the beautiful and brand new soccer stadium in Kansas City.  I am a HUGE Major League Soccer fan, and I am really excited and honored to perform in only the 3rd game in their new stadium and being the first to sing Canada's National Anthem in the stadium, which will be broadcast nation-wide in Canada.

New Sporting KC Stadium

UPCOMING SCHEDULE

• Don Giovanni (Don Ottavio)- Conservatory Opera - 3/18 & 20
• Wichita Symphony Orchestra Naftzger Young Artist Auditions - 4/2-3
• National Anthem - Kansas City Royals vs. Cleveland Indians - 4/18
• Conservatory Finale  - Poulenc Gloria (probably on my top 10 favorite pieces ever) featuring the Conservatory Choirs and Orchestra - 4/23
• National Anthem - DOE Small Business Conference & Expo - Kansas City Convention Center - 5/10
• Administrative Director of the 33rd Annual Summer Choral Institute - 6/5-11
• National Anthem - Sporting KC vs. Vancouver Whitecaps - 6/25
• Sugar Creek Opera Festival (Chicago) - role: tba, opera: Daughter of the Regiment, maybe Little Women as well - 7/20-8/7
• Kansas City Symphony Chorus Auditions - tba