Monday, August 15, 2011

A Childhood Dream (censored)

Oops!  I just got note that some of the material that I mentioned in the post tonight is supposed to be confidential. Unfortunately I will have to wait until after September 16 to re-post this blog entry.  I have an incredibly exciting evening planned for that night here in Kansas City.  Beyond that, I can't even say really what I will be doing.  Unfortunately you will have to survive on excerpts from the post and I will have to censor the rest.  I hope you don't find the censoring to be too obnoxious, I'm just very excited.  I'm only sad that I cannot express my excitement with everyone...yet.

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Growing up, I was always captivated by the grandiose productions of the Olympics, the Three Tenors specials on PBS, and even the high school marching band.  In these I dreamt dreams and felt feeling that led me to forget the world and live within an imagined box of extremes.  I shot the game winning basketball shot in the NCAA finals, I sank an eagle putt to win the US Open, and I had an awesome police car and chased down bank robbers.

But as I got older, the realization never really came, that my impossible dreams were just of my mind and couldn't actually happen.  Of course I knew failure very well.  Even though I wasn't the best basketball player didn't mean that I couldn't live the excitement of sinking the game-winning shot in my head.  The dream that I could be like Pavarotti or be like Tiger Woods always was possible to me.  And in a way, when I would get great opportunities later in life, my reaction to them was always more muted than what I imagined as a kid.  So I stuck to my imagination - it was much more exciting than the glories of the real world.

I had a childhood infatuation with marching bands - the power, the militaristic uniformity, the emotion from the music.  In high school, I auditioned to be the drum major (I didn't get it).  But, as a small kid, if given that opportunity, I would have made that as important as life itself.  As a child, if I had known that I could be the high school drum major, I would be proud and nervous and excited that I had a future capable of something so great.  I tend to forget the simple enthusiasm.  I forget that I have had many accomplishments and projects that I should give the full joy of my youth - even to the things as simple as auditioning for the high school band drum major.

Recently, a bit of news, an opportunity, arose that caused a flood of these childhood emotions of pride, nervousness, excitement.  I don't believe I ever said "yes" but instead I said that I was "horribly excited" for the opportunity.  Of course I meant "yes", but it never came out that way.

(CENSORED - pictures, video, information, all of which I unfortunately cannot divulge at the moment)

This is an amazing opportunity, that I will not waste, and I will live it with the passion of my childhood.  Who knows what the future holds, but as for right now, I am so excited to live in the moment - just like a kid.

(More Censored Material - will be made available after 9/16)



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